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Managing Defiant Behaviour In Children.

By: Robert William Locke

Parents of defiant kids often despair and sometimes dismiss the problem by defining their kid as 'a difficult child'. But many parents are driven to desperate action which only exacerbates the problem. Defiant kids may have tantrums, constantly bicker and argue and very often are angry and hostile even when interacting with their peers. the problem is that many parents do not or cannot set limits of any sort and the result is chaos. Very often parents do not have a clue about how to manage this behaviour in their kids.

Defiant kids resent being punished so spanking is not a solution. The kid will feel even more resentful and will try to get even. They also have a great way of turning the situation round to focus on the parents' behaviour so this only adds to the problem. Some parents try to praise their kids but this has no effect either. The worst scenario is where the parents dismiss this little problem by defining the child's beaviour as "cute". The cute behaviour will soon turn into a nightmare!

Defiant behaviour can begin at a very early age, even as early as 2! The baby will defy the parent by doing exactly the opposite. By the age of 8 or 9, the child, if the problem has not been dealt with, will have problems in fitting in at school and will often be rejected by his peers in the playground. In this situation, a defiant kid will not be given to cooperation with the other children but will resort to coercion. Many experts have done research into why this behaviour is so widespread and food colourings and additives which are used in lots of children's food has come under close scrutiny as a possible cause.

All children will be defiant at some point or other. It is when this behaviour becomes chronic that alarm bells should start to ring. It may well be a symptom of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) but I will deal with that in another article. Very often these kids are angry and frustrated and will seek to blame anybody else in the neighborhood. They very often assume an attitude of knowing it all.

How a family as a unit reacts to the child's defiance will be key. All the family has to be involved. Child therapists usually insist that all family members cooperate and thereby this will bring the family closer together. The reaction of family members to the defiant child's behaviour and how the child is disciplined are crucial.

Parents may be concerned that a defiant child's behaviour upsets family and academic life and they may be desperate to seek help if they have not already addressed the issue from an early age. Other family mmbers may at this point have problems in dealing with openly hostile and uncooperative behaviour by a sibling.

In one research, psychological parenting techniques were shown to work in about 75 percent of cases of children under 10, but only in 25% of cases of children over age 12. Some parents ignore or try to tolerate defiant behaviour until they can't take it anymore and than they try to teach the child the "lesson of his (or her) life. Calmly handle a defiant behaviour by delivering the consequences and don't spend too much time in talking about your frustrations, such as, how "sick and tired" and "disappointed" you are by your child's non-compliance.

The problem can be complicated by the fact that the child may have an ADHD disorder. That will lead to problems of lack of concentration and failure to complete homework. The child will have to learn how to control his/her anger. If you would like to discover more about how to handle defiant children, the site below will give you tons of advice on parenting techniques which have been shown to be successful.

Article Source: http://www.health-fitness-for-all.com

Are you sick and tired as a parent of defiant kids? Visit Parenting techniques for defiant kids for a really great program. For other breaking Health and Welness news, visit The Wellness Bible

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