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Building Confidence Levels Using Feelings and Emotions

By: Lorna Luck

Building self confidence can be a very hard task to accomplish, especially if you're feeling pretty down on yourself. But it can also be a very easy goal to achieve if you have a few simple techniques under your belt, that help you control your feelings and emotions, and react to them in a positive way. It's all based on the premise that when you feel good, your self esteem and self confidence get a boost.

When you taste something really bad, you immediately feel revulsion and try to get rid of the horrible taste as quickly as possible. When you slip on a wet or icy pavement, you immediately feel panic as you lose your footing and fear you might fall.

In everything that happens to you, your emotions and feelings immediately come into play and automatically determine how you react to each and every situation. There are several different groups of feelings and emotions, and they control us in very different ways. So let's look at the primary groups because by being able to recognise them, you can learn how to deal with and control them - instead of the other way round.

The first group are known as "painful feelings".

Imagine you're having a relaxing soak in a hot bath. After a while, you've noticed the water temperature has dropped so you decide to top it up with some more hot water. You stretch your leg so you can turn the hot tap on with your toes. Hot water rushes out scalding your foot a little. You might squeal in pain a little, and you immediately pull your foot away from the water. This shows that we always try to move away from painful feelings.

One of the biggest and most commonly experienced painful feelings is anxiety. Anxiety can cause all sorts of negative feelings, and it can also be very non-specific. That means that you can be suffering with various anxiety symptoms, without really understanding exactly what is causing you to feel that way.

Anxiety can be very severe - and can certainly be strong enough to wake you from a deep sleep or cause an anxiety or panic attack. It is usually caused by an accumulation of many smaller fears and worries that combine together to create overwhelming emotional stress. In stronger cases, it can cause you to be uncertain and incapable of positive action. In most cases it also has a negative impact on your self esteem and reduces or even wipes out your self confidence.

The second group of feeling we call pleasure feelings.

Where we strive to move away from negative feelings, we will constantly try to move towards pleasurable and positive feelings. Anything that makes us feel good is something we want to continue to experience is much and as often as possible. Imagine you've been away on business and haven't seen your partner all week. The end of the week has arrived and you're on your way home. The first thing you want to do when you see your partner again is give them a huge hug. It's a feeling we enjoy and crave, so want to experience it as much as we can.

Given the choice, experiencing positive emotions is the way we would like to feel pretty much all the time - that's how we are programmed as human beings. We want to feel good and enjoy the emotions that go with happiness, laughter, love, fulfilment, friendship, being loved, inner peace

I know it seems like I'm stating the obvious, but pleasurable feelings make us feel good inside and out, and when we feel that way, it naturally helps us in building self confidence levels and self esteem. You feel in control of your life and surroundings, and there's no better way to improve confidence levels than by feeling good about yourself.

Article Source:

Lorna Luck is an NLP and personal development coach . Here she talks about how your feelings can help with building self confidence levels. Get your personalised copy of her free program teaching how to build confidence at

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